The first couple of chapters in Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential made me feel like I had just tied my apron on and was back in the restaurant industry. Thankfully, the book has progressed to some pretty interesting and amusing stories. I just finished the chapter where Bordain talks about things he stays away from when dining - and realized that I have a short list of my own.

For those of you who don't know me, I managed a brewpub in Portland, OR for 5 years. I actually really enjoyed the restaurant industry, there are a lot of positive aspects about it. First off, the money is great, it's a very social atmosphere, and you have your days off. I spent a good amount of time hiking in the gorge, going to the coast and snowboarding on Mt. Hood. However, you have to endure really long hours, physically demanding work and you constantly smell like onions. I did take away some lifelong lessons, and in the spirit of Bordain, I thought I'd share a few 'restaurant don'ts.'

1. Don't eat feta cheese. Feta comes in a 20 gallon bucket of it's own stinky brine, a bucket that big can last anywhere from 3 - 6 months, just sitting in the walk in (hopefully). Just let that sink in for a moment. Now, that's not the gross part - when a cook or a server needs to crumble feta in a pinch, it's very rare they have the time to look for a pair of rubber gloves to throw on and instead, just dive in there blind sharky. So, in a week's time, you could have had a number of hands fishing around the bucket, pulling out chunks of feta to crumble and putting back what they don't need.
2. I don't get garnishes in my drinks. In the same vein of feta, there have been a number of different hands all over those limes. Plus, they usually sit out on the bar, in an open container all day. Granted, usually morning and evening prep involves cutting new garnishes, but that doesn't make the fact that they sit around all day long, being touched by patrons, bartenders, servers and anyone walking by any better.
3. Stay away from the 'Chef Recommends.' Thinking the nightly special, Clams Casino, sounds enticing? Stay away. Usually the 'chef's special' is the kitchen staff or owner's way of getting rid of inventory before they have to throw it out and lose money. The Clams Casino was probably inventory that was ordered for Friday's clam chowder.

Now - Bourdain had some really interesting ones that I had never heard before. For example, he:

• Stays away from Mussels, altogether. He'll eat a good looking one off of a friend's plate, but generally refrains from ordering them. His reasoning is that he doubts any restaurant has the proper means of storing them correctly, in which they don't just harbor and grow bacteria, constantly. I think I'll ad this one into my list. I've had bad shellfish, and although it doesn't keep me away from devouring a dozen Chesapeake Blues in one sitting, it's not fun. Mussels are a different story.
  
• Doesn't ever order hollandaise. Now, I'm one of the biggest eggs benedict fans you can imagine and I don't care if I'm in the greasiest spoon either side of the Mississippi. I'm not going to budge on that. However, for those of you that might care, Bordain states that hollandaise needs to stay at room temperature. It can't be too cold, can't be too warm, which again, just harbors bacteria (it starts growing within seconds of sitting at room temp).
• Stays away from restaurants that tout 'Cheap, Discount Sushi.' He talks about his experiences at the Fulton Street Market and the type of restaurants that would come in to shop in the afternoon, after the fish had been sitting out, un-iced on a humid August afternoon. 10-4, Bourdain.

I'm sure I'm missing a number of other compelling 'don'ts' from Bourdain, but I'd bet I have much more to say the further into the book I get. In the meantime, if you have some 'restaurant don'ts' of your own, don't be afriad to share.

Tags: anthony bourdain, kitchen confidential, restaurant tips, book reviews