I'm not joking.

You might think that I would spend my precious blogging time expressing my thoughts about Obama picking up 26 super delegates in the last week, global warming, the recent earthquake in China, or the cyclone that devastated Myanmar (latter day Burma). However, that is not the case. I've chosen to entertain you, my dear readers, with my intelligent musings on my findings while thumbing through the latest issue of SkyMall.

Now, I have actually consciously tried to resist my love of SkyMall, but it hasn't worked. I've tried to not pick it out of the seat-back pocket in front of me, but to no avail. People who have traveled with me know my problem and those who have flown to see me many times, know to bring me the latest issue. However, every time I board a plane, I can't help but reach for the special in-flight entertainment (would it be considered that?) of the ever so popular random product magazine that is filled with the most useless crap you can think of. I do admit, though, that while thumbing through it this evening, I found some things that I might have actually ordered - like the marshmallow shooter, the talking R2-D2 robot, or the 206 bird song identifier.

So, without further adieu, I give you my favorite products of SkyMall, Late Spring 2008 issue:

Decorative Plant Stand Litterbox: ("The Greatest Gift" is the subtitle, just to let you know.) With its Tuscany handfinish, the new litter box looks like a real clay pot, complete with an attractive, artificial decorator plant. Simply turn the entrance to the wall and no one will know (if your cat doesn't tell)! Finally, A Decorative Litter Box You Don't Have To Hide!

"Keep Your Distance" Bug Vacuum: This cordless insect vacuum quickly captures bugs from up to 2' away. Flies, bees spiders and other insects are suctioned by a 22,400 rpm motor, sending the insect through a one-way valve in the extension tube to an electric grid in the handle that instantly kills the pest. The extension tube removes to place dead bugs in the garbage, shutting off the electric grid in the process to protect curious fingers from electrical shocks or burns. The lightweight plastic design allows complete control while chasing flying insects. I'm a huge fan that you can keep your 'curious fingers' from electrical shocks and that the lightweight design allows complete control while chasing bugs.

Rain Waterfall Gutter Chimes: Beautify your home on rainy or sunny days. Upgrade your home with Gutter Chimes. Typical downspouts are unattractive and hide water, but these decorative, linked copper cups look great as they channel rainwater where you want it to go. The description also says: On sunny days, they catch the light and will acquire a rich patina over time. Wonderful, that must be a beautimous way to hide those unsightly gutters.

Train Yourself to Stop Snoring: Wear it on your wrist when going to sleep and the tiny microphone detects snoring and sends safe electronic pulses to the wrist. The pulses are not powerful enough to disrupt your sleep, but will make you change position and then the snoring stops. The last sentence of the descriptions says: Extended use may actually train the body to stop snoring.

In case you're looking for your next purchase, or perhaps a gift, visit the SkyMall website.

Tags: travel, skymall, awesome crap